Not Only My Story

September 18, 2014, the day of my surgery is here.  I checked in at 8:30 to be prepped for surgery.  I can tell you that praying helped, but I was still very scared.  In comes a wonderful friend to pray over me and my husband and daughter.  As she was praying, tears were streaming from my eyes, not out of fear, but out of gratitude for her, my family, my friends, and the Lord who are supporting me through this journey, and will be there for me whenever I need.

Rewind to my childhood, when there was no one that I could trust or go to, because of a step father who was in all sense of the word...Evil.  When I was 7 years old my mom married a man from Alaska, whom she knew for less than a year before they married.  Not long after, we went to Alaska to start a new life with him, and his family in Sitka, Alaska.  This was the beginning of the end for the innocent child in me. When everyone was asleep in his mother's house one night, he took away my childhood.  And, continued to violate me until I was 14. He was a drunk who beat my mother, and yet she stayed with him.  During those 7 years I never felt safe or protected.  I certainly couldn't tell anyone, and the one time I did tell someone, he got me alone and threatened to slit my throat, so in doing so I said I was lying.  Everything went back to the normal I knew until I was 14 and had the courage to tell my mom again, and I am not sure what convinced her, because the first time I had said something she didn't believe me. The violation of my body at 14 had finally ended, but the violation of my spirit continued. I began putting on weight to hide in the world, because who wants a fat girl right?

September 18, 2014, I went into surgery at 10:30 and was in the step down ICU by 3:30 and I was not very lucid.  I had a personal pain button to administer pain medication as needed.  Apparently I had visitors but I have no memory until the next day to begin recovery.  

September 19, 2014, 5am, the nurse comes in to wake me, and weigh me. I was completely freaked out when I stepped on the scale and was 13 pounds heavier than the day before.  Thankfully the nurse told me that it was normal and due to the surgery and fluids thats how it is for everyone who has the surgery.  So, they bring in my first post operative meal, and it was "breeze" a clear liquid version of boost...yuck!  I had to tolerate that before I could move back to boost, which isn't much better than breeze.  I tolerated it just fine, and let the liquid diet continue.  I had to drink 1oz every 15 minutes, alternating with sips of water or ice chips. This was pretty easy, but I wasn't very mobile yet. I still had a catheter in and had to walk with it, which was a little uncomfortable, but they want you to move as quickly as possible to encourage healing.  I think I made it 25 feet before I had to turn around and go back to my hospital room, but it was a start.  The catheter came out later that day, and I felt a little more free to move about.  I walked about 5 times that day and made it a little farther each time.  I thought I would be out of the hospital the next day like my surgeon said, but that was not to be.